Heyhey,

I think something's wrong with me,
my body.
I'm having this terrible break out problem
and i thought it's because
i keep putting food on my face lolol
for mask and stuff but
it just hit me that my body isn't doing well recently
because it JUST got worse.
And what might be the main cause is on the inside.
I'm feeling really dizzy and a little nauseous now,
looking really pale,
like paler than my usual pale self.
and i feel weak but i thought if this is my last blog post,
so be it.
I always think fucking tragically when things like that happen
hahaha
because i'm not normal to begin with,
as in not healthy physically,
maybe mentally too since i need to be more positive
to be able to survive but,
i will always think of things that might be
causing my near-future death.
if i happen to reread this when i'm still alive
i'm going to think that i'm an idiot.
But seriously,
my face is looking terrible now and it might be because of
what's going on internally and it frustrates me (not really)
that i don't know what the hell is going on in there.
especially in my stomach, it's been freaking weird.


Sooooo...
School started,
not sure what i should and shouldnt say
about what i feel here
since i decided that my feelings (some) shouldnt really
be exposed too much on social media anymore because
who would want to know that stuff and
sometimes if somebody knew, it backfires.
But what to do,
what to do about something you cannot do anything about.
What to do when you cannot even be present where you are physically
because you are trying to escape from something you cannot fix,
or was not given a chance to fix?
Right.
Keep moving forward.
I figured out all the answers to my questions.


i feel like im about to die,
so weak and nauseous
and my stomach feeling rather painful and weird
i should probably sleep now
gooderbyes
goodernights
x