Can I just

"friendly reminder that in psychology school 

people are taught that anger is a secondary emotion, 

so next time you make someone mad, 

remember that it’s because they were originally hurt or upset"

Thank you.

Because i get upset a lot

and i let myself get hurt as much.

Just because.

I can never explain myself better

until i find somebody else's words 

put together perfectly,

i am so bad at putting words together

that the messages i want to deliver

to the another person

is usually misunderstood 

or there was a misunderstanding in my emotions.

My bad though, my bad. 

It's usually like this -

i'm being told something,

that something is planted in my head like a seed

and then it grows roots, sprouts,

grows into this maze of vines

BUT

i'll just pluck out one vine, JUST ONE or sometimes a few more,

and give it to the other person in words.

then again nobody will fully understand 

unless i give them ten vines at least.

i usually dont, it gets so complicated i cant even

does that make sense,

i'm so tired i need to sleep.

SINCE IM HERE THO

HI THER

I got really sick two days ago 

(it was like one week + of diarrhoea, nauseous, and dizzy stuff before that)

and it was bad till today, just now

long story short,

i lost a lot of weight and i'm happy about that.

I really want to tell you guys something,

the two of you.

I REALLY REALLY WANT TO but

no.

never mind.

no.

if i can't hold it in any longer,

i might just tear my books and eat them pages.

the chances i don't take for myself,

i might or might not regret in the future

and this is the end of my

can i just.

yes i can, this is my blog.

but then again, if i really could,

this wouldn't be this shortly long. 

I really know how to do this better now,

i really know how to handle it better now,

and all i ask for is not another chance

but more like throwing away our old book

and opening a new, blank one.

More like starting anew.

Maybe that's why i needed closure,

i had to get rid of whatever happened back then.

I don't like all that that was going on inside of me

in that really short but long period of time.

How can i tell you that it will never be like that again,

how can i tell you that i'm going to try so hard

to make sure we will be alright no matter what.

How can i tell you that we are about to become different

if you actually hand me an empty book

now.

I can't,

i told you i'll leave it to you.

I hate the words i used that restricts myself sometimes. 

(i finished typing this and realized wo ai ta

was playing all along while i typed this.

sad coincident times -_____-

fiiiiiiiiine, i'll take my leave)

So leave me broken.