Time

Let me roll that shit up a little.

(not in chronological order)

Caught The Addams Family with the sister

on a Saturday and we were damn excited about it!

But because i had school on the day itself in the morning

i almost dozed off a few times during the play hahaha

it was good though!!

So here are some excited-us pictures.

SOOOOO HAPPY THAT IT WAS WEDNESDAY

DOING THE PHOTO TAKING SESSION THAT DAY!!!

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJAJA

my Gelare face lol

and finally, after so long T.T 

my all time favourite ice cream

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Random from here on.

some free ice cream Nicole and i got 

in school, just had to download an app and tadaaaa!

reason to get back to bed in the morning

after getting ready :)

one Starbucks day. (after Nicole went off T.T)

one alone-shopping day,

which i was really glad about!

i think one of the best things to do is shop on your own

without needing to worry about anyone else and

you can take your own sweet time, 

which means looking into almost every corner of the shop

and finding gems here and there.

then while i was still shopping,

i got a call from Andre.

decided to go find him since we're so near each other

and then spent a good 30minutes-1hour(??) walking around

then we went our own ways.

First time trying! yumyumnyum

fairy trying to get to my ear.

she has this ear obsession thing.

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Skipped school today so i bathed and groomed fairy,

good therapy time :)

then vacuumed the house a little with a mini vacuum

there's something about vacuuming with the mini vacuum

when all the hairs and dirt get sucked up,

it's like watching your problems get sucked in too

and then you get a clean house!

killing two birds with one stone man. 

or rather vacuum hahaha

Shall try to sleep early today 

Goodnight!

In life,

the people you meet will always make an impact on you,
doesn't matter big or small.
In life,
you will meet people with the ability to change you
or your mindset.


I know sometimes i forget
but i really need to appreciate the people around me more.
I have never been this appreciative of my friends
in my entire life, because in the first place
i'm a very self destructive person in the head and in the heart.
Nobody could help or save me from myself until now.
So today was really feeling like hell and
my heart was just anchored and sinking for no reason
(probably because of over exhaustion lol)
and then something happened.
I was dying on the inside and then
Nicole,
who talked to me very calmly and logically
without pushing or forcing any words into me
reasoned with me everything rationally,
slowly saved me. from myself.
probably with the help of the chamomile tea i was drinking
but that's not the point!
The point is, she did what nobody could have done to me before.
Nobody could save me
and she did.
It's like you're drowning and somebody
gently puts a life buoy beside you,
because no worries, drowning isn't a big deal
as long as you get out alive. hahaha kidding,
the life buoy was pretty much thrown at me.
I don't know if i'm thankful enough but
i really, really, really appreciate her appearing in my life.
Whoever up there that did this, god of fate or something,
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

And i'm so glad that i didn't head home straight after leaving Yuhao's.
Went to meet Andre instead and he just helplessly listened to me panic hahaha
which is good,
that i had company and i wasn't cooping myself up in the head.
thank you tooooo! :D


Ah, the Angels in life.
Where do they come from?

This one's weird

I never not felt the need to be better,
or to appear better in front of somebody like that.
I used to always try to look better
but not this time.
I'm just comfortable.
I think that's good (:

ehehehheh i just deleted the other blog
good riddance (i think)
800 posts all gone.
Although i wanted this blog to be somewhat
free form negativity and all that
from deep inside of me (ahahahah)
that was a hopeless thought.
i probably will never not be negative,
and judging from my eyes which tilts down a little
i guess i am a pessimist.
so yeaaaah.
Goodnight (:

I realized whatever that made me cry in an instant
still haunts me.
I will literally just cry.
I can suck up the tears for awhile but it will still come later on.
So, like the trips from hospitals while heading home on the bus,
i cried yesterday.
Except i was going home from Clementi
and that it wasn't because of another operation or anything.
Weird thing was half the time it was just no tears hahaha
not sure why, it's like you're crying dried tears.
I just hate, really really hate feeling useless
and having decisions made that i can't help with.
Like if i had to go for an op, it would be sooner or later,
and that's the only decision i can make.
I can say no now but it will still be a yes in the future,
so that's one thing i cannot change,
i could only choose the dates.
Yesterday that feeling came back when
i was cracking my eyes and brain to solve questions and
i re realized that i'm so fucking dumb.
i cannot do shit.
idiot.
I became useless again, it's like after an op,
you need to lie in bed and wait for people to serve or help you
for a period of time when necessary.
Like you don't own your life,
you cannot control it.
You need help.
Or you need people to run your life for you.
I don't know,
not even sure if it's exactly coming from that point and
from that exact feeling.
Pretty sure it's something else too but god damn it,
I FELT SO HELPLESS AND SO USELESS.
And it was only because i couldn't do ANY
of the group assignment questions on MA.
URGH.
I need more sleep, but it's never enough.
Less sleep = a more terrible me.
I hope i don't fall for anyone during this period of time
or else if i decide to break my own heart,
like because i don't want to confess and just suffer by myself,
i might just go over my limits and
hell will probably break lose
within myself.
That's not very pleasant.
Don't like that one bit.

A Proper Update

School started and i'm dying from exhaustion. 

Beyond exhausted.

But despite of that, 

there were two days that i'm really glad i didn't decide to give a miss. 

Finally met up with my artsy friends ya.

Had dinner and sheesha at arab st. 

I actually planned to leave at 8+/9 pm but

stayed till 11 because, you know,

you can't just get up and leave when you're having too much fun.

And along with all the fun came all the jokes and talks that 

Shahirah and i didn't get hahaha

 some turkish apple tea, was good! 

pretty sure they added some stuff that they shouldn't be adding in there hahaha

had this weird heart tugging feeling whenever i took a sip 

 my dinnaaaaahhhh. sultani chicken or something

it wuz okeh.

 my twin. we were separated at birth i think. hahahaha (kidding guys, kidding) 

took this while being damn paiseh at the mrt platform.  

 better photo of everybody that the guy took and claimed that he take really good pictures.

daniel's much-effort-standing-up-while-scared-of-embarassment-but-had-to food shot.

and i think i overslept the next day.

Then this happened yesterday,

went to plaza sing to watch Despicable Me 2 with these guys.

I expected more from it but it was only okay,

funny in a cute way but okay.

Just because i watched White House Down the day before

DAMN SON,

WHITE HOUSE DOWN WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

EVERYBODY SHOULD WATCH.

Pretty funny too (:

Oh yeah, pictures! 

 we saw the queue being really short and April got really excited, so...

haha wouldn't go back unless i only want the bao. 

 JaeYoon took this, there's no photo of him!

 YuHao being more vain than me -_________-

 because we wore similar stuff a number of times so this called for an ootd.

Then when it was just April, Charleen, JaeYoon and I left,

we decided to not have dinner in the end.

BUT

Charleen then wanted to go to ChompChomp

while we were walking to the MRT station after April went off and

because i was actually so broke for the food in PS,

i wuz so happz.

it was like a suggestion queue that came 

once we stepped on the escalator or something ahahaha (ding!)

But JaeYoon bought his sushi and he probably wanted to eat his snacks too

so he went home.

Then the both of us took this really long journey

(long because we were starving ya)

to ChompChomp to chompchomp. ahaha

And then when she talked to me,

i realized (not that i didn't already know but i got reminded)

that no matter how blissful you look,

it isn't always how things may seem to be.

If i had a fire element power,

i would have been shrouded in bursting flames 

because i got really pissed off.

Let me re quote myself from twitter hahaha

"why are we always blinded by how much better things can be 

if only we let go?"

then it reminded myself that i'm that idiot too.

don't really listen to my own advices and stuff, so okay.

Then i slept and woke up and went to school today.

The End.

Bye.

Pretty sure they are really Heaven sent.