now exams.
I think i can't really finish what i started,
like this blog,
i was just lazy and all that.
But i got a lot to say, really
so much that my words recoil
because i just realize how much confidence i do not have.
My confident level is so low that,
i can't even describe.
I thought i was an odd ball but thankfully,
i've been observing the way people react and i think i may be normal now.
I always over think about my own actions, my own words,
i still do but,
not thaaaaaaaat much into it now.
And i think some people made me realize (today) that
i am really slouchy.
lol i seriously slouch all the time.
But i can't help it, i didn't like being tall
i played a lot of computer games
i didn't like myself back then (i like me a little bit now)
i don't want my chest sticking out any further
i think i need to be less visible
i think I'm ugly and the things i do are weird so less visible
i think I'm a fucking weirdo so less visible
and all that stuff i can say about why i don't like myself
so i should be less visible.
But you see, i also like myself thats why
i get the clothes i like,
i eat the food i love,
i do the things i enjoy,
i enjoy the company i have,
i talk,
i sing,
i laugh.
It's so tough being me sometimes,
so tough being a human being,
so tough being alive.
But that's also the beauty,
I Am Alive.
the best things are sometimes also the worst things
and the worst things that are good are usually the most pleasurable things.
i hope those things, those feelings, those senses, those thoughts
that light up in the dark
are the things that are keeping you alive.
Are you alive?
I would love you.
I really would.
